GE, over 8%

I don't know what to tell you, now that things are priced for the end of the world as we know it. GE is 8% or more; if you've got any money left, it's a most likely safe bet, for now...

There's No Business Like Show Business-- MGM's Benchmark Junk Offering 13%

MGM placed over 1 billion in high yield (junk paper) through 7 brokerage firms, which is the first high yield deal in the month. The sky has been falling, and now it's bounced in the high yield markets. Who'd like to bet on outsized yields from gaming at a time when the casinos are empty... (sold to you).

The falcon cannot hear the falconer... but GE is 7%

Okay, maybe this should be a footnote, but first let's review the darkest words of Yates, just after WWI and right before the dawn of the roaring 20's:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre.
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

-- William Butler Yeats, January 1919

Now, let's look at what's trading at yields higher than 7%, which is a good place to be if you want to double your money sooner than later:

GE (nuff said?)

Okay, fine; how about yield, PE ratio and PEG? Yeah, I know, who is figuring out the growth rates on these companies, right? After all, figures don't lie, but liars figure. But, let's say they are wrong by double, the flip side of an engineer's standard design stress test/benchmark for building a bridge, for example).

GE
Div & Yield: 1.24 (7.00%)
P/E: 8.90
PEG Ratio (5 yr expected): 0.84

So their may still be diamonds on the beach, which are looking a lot like the diamonds on the shores of Thomas More's Utopia, I admit. Sure, the economy and people's retirement funds are looking more like an awful distopia. But is it better to light a candle than to curse the darkness, and maybe folks like Hank the Tank Paulson, Goldman's 1/2 billion dollar man who retired to finish the ponzi scheme at the US Treasury department.







VZ
VERIZON COMMUN
7.30%
12.29
1.22




PFE
PFIZER INC
Yield: 7.70%
PE: 10.61
PEG: 1.82 (high PEG, but strong brand, in spite of pipeline issues...)

PAG
PENSKE AUTOMOTIVE (Moving vans: when you gotta go, you gotta go)
6.40%
3.61 (WTF?)
0.4 (come on!)

JNY
JONES APPAREL GP INC
6.70%
2.19
0.87

VIP (Russian on cellphones)
VIMPEL COMMUN
6.40%
3.96
0.25

TK
TEEKAY CORP (waiting for a shipping rebound)
7.40%
8.70
0.2 (absurd PEG ration)


Will fundimentals ever be in fashion? Maybe when who is ever left with cash starts buying businesses for pennies on the 2007 dollar, fundimentals may matter. But for now, sorting out these TGTBT yields and picking a few places to park cash seems better than a kick or a poke, right?

Now for something stranger than fiction:

Forclosures, Moving and SSS Storage

Sovran Self Storage (SSS) raised its dividend, which amount to a nice reward for a bet on people having to leave. At 7.40% it would appear that SSS is a good place to park as Americans sort out their financial issues and go on the move to new digs, or self storage lockers. After all, Oprah reminded all of America on Thursday that we'll have to make do with less and she must know since she picks presidents now.

Most recently on Sept 7, Oppenheimer reminded investors to "get smart" (see photo, and video below), as it initiated coverage with a cautious "underperform" rating.

SSS enjoyed a run up of 5% in the last minutes of trading on Friday to end the worst week ever, even if it's 15 points from last year's high. That's a little odd, in light of it trading Ex-dividend on Oct. 6, meaning investors will miss the boat on the Oct 22 payday. Nevertheless, bulls seem to love the idea of cash flows from storage.

However, SSS ratios are not exactly a delight. SSS's P/E, PEG and P/S are leaving The Yield Hoe with that feeling of being overworked and underpaid, like a fire fighter who spends half the day chasing a cat from a tree. In spite of the Hedge fund manager in Ireland speaking gloom and doom on CNBC the other night ("fundamentals are now just an intellectual curiosity at this point as investors raise whatever cash they can from the equity markets around the world"), we're in camp with Oppie on this one on the fundimentals: not amused, given SSS's PEG ratio of 1.96.

P/E (ttm):	17.27
EPS (ttm):	1.90
Div & Yield:	2.56 (7.30%)

PEG Ratio (5 yr expected): 1.96

Don't get me wrong, we like the idea that Uncle Bob's has expanded to Tampa and several other location in Floridas, Texas, Ohio and KY and Colorado. SSS paid 140 million for 21 units of the "Lock N Key" brand. We were in Tampa last year and could not get a anything to eat anywhere upon rolling into town, after 10pm. It was a far cry from the good old days of the Telecom boom. Self Storage is the kind of real estate we like in this hypothetical end of the world climate, but the values just do not seem to be there in SSS or any of it's peers, such as U-Haul, U-Store-it, or the giant Public Storage. But we wonder what happens when people don't pay their bills. Does EBAY 's earning grow, as managers struggle to sell all of American's "stuff" of which they take delivery? Perhaps there is a cash to be bullish for online flea markets, Pawn shops, Cash Advance and Payday loans too.

Here's the dirty low down from Yahoo competitors, on the self storage business:

	SSS	UHAL	EXR	PSA	Industry
Market Cap:	720.87M	678.25M	1.04B	14.25B	997.54M
Employ­ees:	1,057	11,100	1,853	5,700	153
Qtrly Rev Growth (yoy):	4.60%	-2.10%	19.00%	-4.90%	18.70%
Revenue (ttm):	194.69M	2.04B	267.09M	1.83B	267.09M
Gross Margin (ttm):	72.03%	29.32%	68.03%	65.22%	72.92%
EBITDA (ttm):	112.65M	416.20M	142.95M	1.12B	198.44M
Oper Margins (ttm):	40.34%	9.00%	36.61%	34.08%	35.96%
Net Income (ttm):	40.53M	42.90M	35.02M	702.30M	N/A
EPS (ttm):	1.902	2.189	0.514	4.153	1.34
P/E (ttm):	17.27	15.78	24.69	20.42	22.39
PEG (5 yr expected):	1.96	1.55	1.5	1.98	1.50
P/S (ttm):	3.58	0.30	3.53	6.46	3.79

So I guess we're trying to say, in this new age of Chaos, it may not even pay to "Get Smart", but it's better than making bad bets at OTB, right?:

The End of the Worst Week in Stock Market History

It's really no way to be catchy with the headline this time. The fact is, the Dow dropped 40 percent in the last week, after 8 days of declines. This morning, it broke 8000, dipping for a hot minute into the 7,000's, which is a mid-1990's level.

General Motors (GM) and US Steel (X) have collapsed like accordions, just like they did in great depression of 1929. The commercial paper markets are locked, frozen like tundra. Oil has cracked below that 90's dollar range, Bush made a speech to comfort investors, which was followed by at 400 point dip. And it still may not be a bottom.

Paulsen spoke again around after the market close at around 6pm, giving assurances that he has reached out to other nations to find a way to get credit moving again around the planet. He was much more at ease this time, as if he had just returned from a week in that resort at which those those guys from AIG treated themselves. What can you do in times that are almost Too Bad To Be True (TBTBT)? As you know, The Yield Hoe does not stop in good times or bad, particularly since bad times bring so many more opportunities for those who can raise the cash to tuck away for the day the rain goes way.

Of course, more people are likely to be concerned with paying a mortgage in rainy days like these, but for those looking for somewhere safer to park cash or proceeds from moves to cash, there are more that a few spots to get a high yield.

Corporate bond that could be bargains, if you think people will continue to use phones, parents will sacrifice for toys, and Rite Aid will still make money selling aspirins, even if their operations and their stock tends to give you a headache (these columns won't line up, but bare with):

Issue

Price

Coupon(%)

Maturity

YTM(%)

Current Yield(%)

Fitch

Callable

ALLTEL CO

91.57

6.500

1-Nov-2013

8.278

7.099

A

No

TOYS R US I

94.12

8.750

1-Sep-2021

9.518

9.296

B

No

RITE AID CORP

86.00

7.700

15-Feb-2027

9.266

8.953

CCC

No

Now, let's turn our attention to the "eye of hell", or Television.

Himax Semiconductors of Taiwan (HIMX) make components for those giant TVs everyone seems to need. Yes, it's the subject of a downgrade by Agrus to Hold 'em if you got em from Buy. But in spite of the big brains at Argus, there are some impressive numbers underpinning HIMX, including it's Price to Sales ratio, it's PE, it's PEG and more of all, its yield.

It' gets 99 million in operating cash flow, and it has-- hold it, hold it, hold it, okay: No Debt!

Have at "looksee" at HIMX ratios:

P/E (ttm):	3.23
EPS (ttm):	0.72
Div & Yield:	0.55 (22.50%)

PEG Ratio (5 yr expected): 0.21

That sure seems like a lot of growth for it's low P/E. Risk factors? Consumer demand destruction as they can no longer afford to buy those big flat screen TVs that HIMX makes (along with GLW). But, there again, will people pony up for a big TV if they stay home much more than the roaring 90s-00's? Hey, I'm not Colombo, but we can try.

The theory is that demand drops, prices on these flat screens drop and demand kicks back about the time consumer credit is restored. So if consumers are nested up, on smaller budgets, a big TV may be just the hearth they look to that will bring folks together. Or maybe demand drops off, sales slow and HIMX cuts it's 22% dividend in half, which is still not bad. It's your call.


Now, for those who know, here's the gentile reminder of William DeVaughn's "Diamond in the Back" circa 1974 when there was a big market crash and those oil shocks that some of us splitting wood with Dad on Saturday mornings for the new wood burning stove:

ZZ for Sleep at Night Factor, Yielding 7.40%

Sealy Corporation (ZZ) produces mattresses and advertisements for mattresses that have basically made its "Posturepetic" brand a household name. What's more, its dropped from the 15 dollar per share range to below 4, which places its yield into The Yield Hoe nation. With the way its chart and these overall equity markets looks, having a good place to crawl into the fetal position is bound to be a growth trade.

And sure enough, speaking of growth, you'll find that ZZ's PEG ratio is .87 worth of earnings for its growth rate. It's PE ratio is just 5.40. It has about $750 million in debt and $40 million in cash on hand, with net income of $66 million.

Moverover, ZZ has a beta of .34, which gives is greater risk adjusted returns than stocks that are more synicronized with the market, according to Smartmoney Price checker, a very cool spreadsheet that makes easy work of estimating underlying values (see the links on the right).

It's trading off 69% from its high on the year. Why? On its recent conference call, CEO Larry Rogers said the bed biz isn't doing so well for bedding costing more than 1000 dollars:

Let me start by discussing the domestic bedding industry, retail mattress conditions continue to erode particularly at price points above $1,000. We do not believe industry’s trends have yet stabilized and US consumer sentiment continues to be weak which is taking a toll on the industry.

This certainly squares with all the consumer gloom and doom you'll see in the retail markets thats turned this bear loose in the circus tent. But he goes on to say:

Our Canadian sales have slowed but remain healthy and we continue to experience strength in our operations in Mexico, South America and Asia joint venture during the third quarter.

We believe Sealy’s diversified geographic presence leaves us better positioned in the context of this environment to emerge with a stronger presence when the market turns.

So, if you're looking for a place to park your money at more than 7%, ZZ may do it, even if its "sleep at night factor" is about as high as high the kind of retail that sells to folks that can afford a $1,000 dollar mattress.

Buy 200 shares of ZZ now, and within 2 years, you may be able to buy a new Posturepedic, from the proceeds, if the end of the world does not come, and it returns to its pre-crash trading range of more than 10 per share (that would of course bring its yield back down, and well outside The Yield Hoe zone, which would trigger a sale, without capital gains if you've had to sell down for margin calls).



Speaking of Sleeping, listen to Snakes Can't Sleep by The Lounge Lizards:

Chickens in China and Shipping Yielding over 11%

Yum Brands (YUM) reported earnings from LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) -- Fast-food company Yum Brands Inc. said Tuesday its third-quarter profit grew by 5 percent as surging sales in its operations in China more than offset a sharp decline in U.S. results.

Okay, so Chinese like YUM Chickens, in spite of the fact the stock has dropped over 35%. So what? It's not YUMs yield (2.50%). Not for us at the Yield Hoe anyway. But, it looks like Kentucky's own Col. Sanders is doing a better job than NYC's General Tso in China (yes, General Tso's chicken was most likely invented in NYC's Chinatown and largely unknown in China, the country). And YUM's earnings suggest that maybe all the overseas demand destruction certain Chicken Littles are predicting isn't as bad as it seems from the shifting precipice. Considering the popularity of YUM's chickens in China, Dow 5,000 may not be de facto.

That' brings us to slow boats to China, and shippers such as Excel Marine Carriers (EXM) that are yielding over 11%. EXM's P/E is less than 2. It's PEG ratio is an absurd .08. Those are not typos. It's debt to equity ratio is 1.33, and it has about 5% cash on hand to cover it's 1.6 billion dollar total debt. It's net income is 217 million, which is

True, TV Stock Jockey Cramer is bearish on shippers, and the Street points out the shipping index has dropped due to the buildup for the Olympics. China has inventory to work through in things such as Iron. But any overhang caused by ship building may be reduced as contracting parties break the deal with just in time reactions real demand decline.

What about Oil Tankers? Let's try a new format-- for example, consider, Teekay Tankers. It's dropped from 22 to 11ish level in the past 3 months.

TNK

TEEKAY TANKERS CL A

Yield: 23.20%

Beta: 0

P/E 5.44

PEG Ratio: 0.37

TNK has 19 million cash on hand, and about 320 million in debt. Major holders in include

• IRIDIAN ASSET MANAGEMENT LLC
• NEUBERGER BERMAN, LLC
• GLICKENHAUS & CO

So, with all the blood in the streets, what about Real Estate. For example, Industrial REIT, First Industrial (FR) is yielding over 16%, with a P/E of under 5, and a PEG ratio of .85, and yet, it's net income is negative. Brandywine BDN, on the other hand, yield 14%, but with a P/E of 18, which isn't exactly cheap given the blood in the street. Duke yields 10%, but there again, its P/E is 19. Again, not cheap, given the blood. Liberty yield 8% and has a similar P/E. What all these higher P/E REITs have in common is positive net income to First Industrials -64 million. No screaming buys there, in spite of the blood.

Take the apartment sector-- Apartment Investment and Management (AIV). It yields 6.9%, but it's P/E is 15.41, and it's PEG ratio is 1.31, which doesn't really square with the blood in the streets. So I'm thinking blood in the streets does not always translate into the best time to buy real estate.

Nevertheless, speaking of blood in the streets, check out-- "Peace Frog", by the Doors:

What does it matter what you say about people?

It just does not matter. This market, and these money talking heads have me thinking of an old Joni Mitchell album with some of the best modern Jazz musicians of the day on it (1980s)-- I think it was Weather Report with the late great Jaco Pastorias on a buck wild bass.

Anyway, it was a live album, and she played a clip from a movie, the weepy 60s psychodrama, "Rebel without a Cause", where a guy repeats: "Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter..." over and over. While the movie was out of my depths, the Joni Mitchell concert album just rocks like the USA.

And it's exactly what this market has had me thinking all week.

Future cash flows and growth rates of companies? Just don't matter. Fundamentals are beside the point. Discounted future earnings are of no use. Management and their statements of risk factors, you guessed it, doesn't matter. Low debt to equity, or Debt to cash on hand? Right-- doesn't matter. Company makes booze, or electricity, or things that are recession proof? Doesn't. Matter. Period.



Securities are priced for the end of days, as McCain and Obama are poised to face off in a race to see who will be the FDR style cleanup shop steward. No matter what the government does, everyone is moving to cash, which is odd. After all, if you don't trust government solutions, why would you buy its Bills, Notes and Bonds?

Better to pick up a few religious texts, a shotgun and some canned goods, no?

Apparently, terrorism and natural disasters have not produced enough suffering for American. Now we are gearing up to suffer the wages of those good intentions of our chosen leaders, their appointees and a few guys hustling massive pay days at Fanny-Freddie Mac-Mae.

Nevertheless, it's time like these that makes the mouths of Yield Hoes everywhere drool, like cab drivers on a rainy days, as they look to their stock screens. An so we move on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly to high yields, low P/Es, low PEG ratios, and low debt to equity and cash on hand, in lines of business that are not in danger of going extinct, even if man does first. High yields are everywhere. It's enough to make you want to think about dollar cost averaging back into the market with some of these low flying money machines at levels almost TGTBT.

So let's see what does not matter today, after the Dow next sickening leg down today:

Suburban Propane, SPH, yields 9.90%, P/E is 7.15 and it's PEG is low at .86. Meanwhile, it's debt is in the 500 million range, which is about 5 times its cash on hand at 180 million. That's .21 cash on hand to debt. SPH is cratered down from 45 last November to the 30 range today.

Or take the micro cap company, Primemedia, PRM, with ratios that are TGTBT. It won't cost much at $1.98 per share, and assuming it can maintain its listing requirements it could yield you more than 12% as you wait to see if the apartment and new home advertising business disappears from the American economy for good. I know, it's an open question, like will the sun come out tomorrow, or who will be president of the United States (not if there will be one mind you). PRM's P/E ratio is .22 (no, that's not a typo); and it's PEG is just .32, which suggests really TGTBTly good amount of growth for the price of its earnings. Yes, they have over 250 million in debt to 6 million cash on hand, but where are the worts? JP Morgan analyst, who has the highest New Star rating (for being right), just upgraded PRM. Hey, it's 2 dollars per share; if they make more money from more real estate listings, maybe it heads back to the 10 to 15 dollar range sooner than later.

But there again, "it doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter"...( by the way, that album with the weepy James Dean on it is "Shadows and Light" by Joni Mitchell, and it has major WOW-factor musicianship on it.)


Now hear this; because it's a good time to listen to Black Friday by Steely Dan: